I MISS SOPHIE </3 i can't believe she's really gone. shit breaks my heart, nobody on earth is creating music like hers. nobody! to make music that is so very.. Gender... do you know what i mean..... completely raw and expressive in a way that is uniquely touching, and i can understand and relate to the feelings portrayed in the mixture of harsh, cutting synths and lush atmosphere interwoven. i am trying to create in a way that represents my truest self, to let go of what i think i should do and just do it. to create art for art's sake, experimenting and learning, not trying to replicate exactly what i see or hear in my mind. i hope this will make me more comfortable with creating music, both by myself and with others. i don't expect myself to finish anything without getting a MIDI controller though xD punching in notes manually to be able to hear what something sounds like is awful! doesn't feel natural at all -_- but for now maybe i will make a ringtone or something idk, just trying to become familiar with FL studio and getting used to figuring things out as i go.

i feel starved for inspiration so i've been trying a daily music challenge for the whole month of March, although i only decided to start doing it today. the genres to listen to today were alternative dance and jangle pop, so i picked a random album from each and gave them a listen. i VERY much enjoyed Underwater Moonlight by the Soft Boys (i picked it because the name sounded really funny), it's somewhere in between post punk and pop punk. i enjoyed the production and the musical progressions were very engaging, the lyrics were kinda weird but that's alright, i have definitely heard stranger things. i liked it so much i'm listening to another album by them right now, Invisible Hits! the vocals and lyrics often remind me of Say Anything. for alternative dance i started listening to Twisted Tenderness by Electronic but i had to turn it off a few tracks in, the production was very overwhelming. it felt like nothing and everything was happening all at once, like there were so many parts going on and it felt loud but the songs were also twice as long as they needed to be;; sometimes.. less is more.
of course i am cataloguing my listens on my rym page, probably not everything i listen to is going to be blog post worthy, i just wanted to put it out there for anyone interested in seeing what i've been listening to (-:

maybe soon i will have more to write about, but my life is still on hold, waiting to hear back from a job i've had a few interviews with. ughhhhh it's not going to be pleasant but i just hope the work is tolerable and it won't completely kill me to work two jobs at once. they DO have a policy to schedule everyone off for at least one weekend per month, so hopefully i get sunday-monday completely free of work at least once a month TT_TT fucking HYPED about the employee discount though!!!!!! i think i'll start building a more grunge inspired wardrobe, i do have to wear the company's clothes while i work there so that's my excuse for buying clothes i didn't otherwise need lmfao

speaking of fashion, i had this idea for an outfit that i doodled last night! i need those loose-fit thigh highs... and lately i've been wanting to wear beanies SO BAD because my hair is the perfect length for it right now BUT I DONT OWN A SINGLE BEANIE BECAUSE THEY MAKE MY HAIR FRIZZY OTL i just want to wear something besides a normal hat when i dont wanna fix my hair!!!!! UGH!!! anyway, here is the picture ^_^ \/ PEACE!