I HATE! DRIVING!
I HATE DRIVING!!!!!!!!!!
why do i live in a society that values individuality over literally everything else!!!!!!!!!!!!! i hate cars and i hate driving them and there is NO REASON for me to have to drive because BUSES EXIST but you know, the government would never spend money on infrastructure, nooo they wouldnt dare piss off manufacturers and dealerships, no fucking buses unless you live in a huge city, and even then they still SUCK. no of course we need to clog the roads with one person driving in a single vehicle instead of 50 people on a bus. right that makes sense.
cars and insurance are way too expensive and i have been driving the same car for the past 5 years under my parents' insurance, so the car isn't even in my name. if i were to get a new car - not a brand new car, even just a used one - i would have to register it under my own name and pay for my own car insurance, which would be like... well with car payments factored in... at least $300 a month. and i'm expected to pay for health insurance on top of that. HA! i dont even make $300 in a single paycheck, but i'm still not qualified for government assistance because i "make too much." ANYWAY, my car is old as balls and cannot get up to speed like everyone else's can. i can't go above 40mph in drive, i have to shift into overdrive to do that. and i can't speed up while in overdrive, so i have to just slam the gas and be patient, meanwhile everyone behind me is pissed off and keeps passing me. and i KNOW that being passed is not the end of the world, literally everyone does it, but it stresses me out so fucking much? no matter how fast i drive there is ALWAYS someone passing me. i could go 70 in a 45 and someone will pass me doing 90. WHY!!!!!!!?????? i can't help but count the cars that pass me even though it kills me to pay attention to that and i keep taking it as a personal failure even though i literally cannot help the way my car works and probably nobody cares. i am so convinced that everyone on earth knows i am in this car and hates me for going so slow. just give me a SECOND!!! A FUCKING SECOND!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
my car is also very small and low to the ground so i am unable to drive at night because everyones bright ass LED headlights are DIRECTLY IN MY EYEBALLS. did you get the darkness?!?! did you see the road???!!!!! because i sure fucking cant!!!!!!!! lanes and roundabouts and Signs do not make sense to me they just have a bunch of words on them. what do they mean. what am i supposed to do with these words i am just fucking driving or at least trying to. i tried to put on some Evanescence to calm down on the way home but fuck it did not work at all and i am still so stressed out from just going to the mall. :| cringe